Understanding Bisexuality in Relationship

Posted by Beth Darling on Jun 28th 2024

Understanding Bisexuality in Relationship

Dear Beth,

I'm a straight woman but I met a guy I really like who just told me he’s bisexual. I’m not homophobic or anything, but I’ve never dated a bi man and don’t know what this means for our relationship. Does this mean that he will never be able to be monogamous with me because he will always want a man also?

Please help!


Dear Margy,

First and foremost, let me assure you that being bisexual doesn't necessarily impact a person's ability to be monogamous. Bisexuality simply means that a person is attracted to both men and women. It doesn't mean they need to be with both men and women to feel fulfilled. Monogamy is about commitment, trust, and the unique bond you share with your partner, regardless of their sexual orientation. Many bisexual people are happily monogamous with their partners, just as many heterosexual and homosexual people are.

Think of it this way, as a straight woman in a monogamous relationship, it’s ok if you find other men attractive and even sexually arousing. This is acceptable even if the men are physically very different from your partner. Your commitment to monogamy requires only that you refrain from engaging in sexual activity with them. It would be no different for a bisexual partner.

Of course, this isn’t to say that you shouldn’t talk openly with him about your feelings and concerns. Understanding each other's perspectives and building a foundation of trust is essential in any relationship. Discuss what monogamy means to both of you, and make sure that it’s what you both want, not just what you think you’re “supposed” to do. Remember that his bisexuality is just one aspect of who he is, it’s not the defining factor.

I hope this helps! If you really like this guy, it might be worth giving him a chance to show you who he really is beyond his sexuality. Wishing you all the best on this exciting new journey!

Sending hopeful hugs and love,