Stirring the Paint

Posted by Beth Darling on May 6th 2023

Stirring the Paint

Dear Beth,

My boyfriend won’t have sex with me while I’m on my period even though I want it. We live 100 miles apart and only see each other every other weekend. Since I bleed for a whole week, it feels like we rarely have sex. How can I convince him that it’s not gross? 

Tammy Y.

Hi Tammy,

It’s unfortunate that your boyfriend feels that way. Sadly, it’s not surprising given how uptight our culture is when it comes to menstrual blood. That being said, I’m so glad you are comfortable enough with your body and cycle to realize that period sex shouldn’t be taboo. 

In fact, there are a lot of benefits to period sex:

1. Orgasm triggers a release of endorphins which make you feel good.

2. Orgasms often provide great relief from menstrual cramps. Cramps are the result of your uterus contracting to expel its bloody lining. During orgasm, these uterine muscles also contract and release, but you experience it as pleasure. This is why you may notice a “gush” of blood when you climax.

3. Having sex might shorten your period because the orgasmic contractions help flush your uterine lining out faster.

4. Some women have a stronger desire for sex during their period thanks to hormonal fluctuations.

5. Blood acts as a natural lubricant so you don’t need anything else.

6. Period sex often relieves migraines.

Frankly, I’m inclined to think that all these benefits might indicate that humans are “designed” to enjoy period sex. Perhaps when you share this with your guy, he might be able to rethink his resistance. After all, how cool is it that you “need” sex with him to feel better? Perhaps, he’ll be able to appreciate this as a new sexy adventure.

If he’s willing, here are a few tips to make sure things go well:

●Make sure to remove any tampons or menstrual cups beforehand.
●Using dark-colored towels or blankets can minimize the appearance of blood so it’s not shocking.
●Have a couple of wet washcloths by the bed to clean yourselves up afterward.

I hope this helps and you start making the most of all your time together!