Hi Beth,
This guy I’m dating mentioned that he likes ‘sounding’ and I’m super curious but also a little confused. Do people really stick something up their penis? Why? Would he expect me to do it to him?
He’s crazy, right?
Laura P.
Dear Laura P,
Absolutely, your curiosity and confusion are completely normal—sounding is not something most people encounter in everyday conversation! But it is gaining in popularity, so I’m glad to help you understand it and decide what’s right for you in this situation.
Let’s start with your question about whether or not people really stick things up their penis.Yep, they do. “Sounding” is the term given to the act of inserting objects, typically called "sounds" (medical-grade tools like small metal or glass rods), into the urethra. While it might make you wince just thinking about it, some people find it intensely pleasurable. The urethra contains sensitive nerve endings connected to areas of the body responsible for arousal, and stimulating them this way can provide a unique and heightened sensation.
By the way, this practice isn’t limited to men, either—some people with vaginas explore urethral stimulation, though it’s much less common.
While most people engage in sounding for the physical sensations it causes, sometimes it’s also part of sexual exploration or kink. It offers a new way to experience sensation, one that's different from more "traditional" stimulation and which may involve some power dynamics. (A subject for another day!) The idea might seem wild at first, but there are infinitely varied and creative ways people find to connect with their bodies and their partners, sounding is just one of them.
It’s also worth noting that sounding is not always sexual for everyone. Some people enjoy the control, focus, or even meditative aspects of the practice. Certainly it requires a great deal of expertise and focus to avoid damaging the urethra.
As for whether he would expect you to do it to him- it’s possible, but not a given. Some enjoy exploring it solo, others with partners. This will have to be a conversation between you, and I encourage you to ask plenty of questions. This isn’t something you should rush into, nor that you should feel pressured about. Sounding is “edge” play, meaning that it is inherently risky and not something to be done cavalierly.
Now for the big question: does this make him crazy? Not at all! People’s sexual preferences and turn ons can seem surprising if they’re outside your experience, but enjoying sounding doesn’t necessarily make someone "crazy." We all have unique turn-ons and curiosities. I think they’re ok as long as they don’t cause us to force ourselves onto others.
Ok, so after all that, if you’re curious enough to want to explore this with him, it’s imperative that you prioritize safety. Sounding carries serious risks like infection or injury, so anyone practicing it needs to use proper tools, sterile techniques, and lots of high quality, body safe lubrication. It’s more than I can answer here, so you’ll have to do a lot more research before you take action.
On the other hand, if this sounds overwhelming or just not your thing, that’s okay, too. You’re allowed to set boundaries that work for you and bow out. For example, "I appreciate you sharing this with me, but it’s not something I’m comfortable exploring" would be a perfectly fine response.
In either case, remember that every relationship is a dance of discovery. You’re learning about each other’s likes, dislikes, and curiosities, and that’s a wonderful thing. Whether or not sounding becomes part of your shared experiences, conversations like this can strengthen your connection.
Can’t wait to hear what you decide, I’m rooting for your pleasure no matter what!
Sending hugs and happiness,
Beth