Sexy Shopping

Posted by Beth Darling on Jun 15th 2023

Sexy Shopping

My wife refuses to come with me to Sara’s Secret, even though I’ve asked her repeatedly. She says she’s glad when I go because she enjoys the vibrators I've bought her. I don’t like going alone. How can I convince her that it's better for us to go together? 

Paul T.

Dear Paul,

I understand your frustration. I also think it’s more fun to shop for sexy things with a partner. But, obviously her perspective is equally valid.

Given that you don’t mention why she refuses to join you, I’m guessing that you don’t know why either. Until you do, you’ll be hard pressed to convince her to go with you.

Towards that, I suggest initiating an open and honest conversation while showing empathy towards her feelings and viewpoint.

Start by explaining why it’s important to you that she shop with you. Let her know if you want her to help explore new options for pleasure, create a sense of excitement and anticipation, share intimate experiences, add spice to your love life, and/or discover products that both of you can be enthusiastic about.

Continue the conversation by asking her to tell you why she’s adamant about not going with you. Acknowledge her resistance and assure her that you're not trying to pressure her into anything. Express your genuine interest in understanding her perspective and the reasons behind her hesitation. Let her know that you value her boundaries and preferences and hope that by having an open discussion, you can find compromises that satisfy both of you.

It's crucial to address any concerns she may have. Reassure her that shopping at Sara’s Secret is safe and enjoyable. To alleviate her worries, spend time browsing through pictures of the stores so she knows what to expect if she does go. You can also read reviews to gain confidence in the staff's professionalism and knowledge.

If you successfully address her concerns and reservations, suggest visiting the boutique as an exciting and adventurous date. Grant her the freedom to decide how long you stay, ensuring she doesn't feel pressured or trapped.

Approaching this, and other sources of contention with empathy and understanding is key. Create a safe and non-judgmental environment where both of you can express your perspectives without fear of negative consequences. Patience is also crucial. Allow your wife time to consider your suggestions and ultimately make her own decision.

I’ll be rooting for both of you to find a pleasurable way forward.

With hopeful hugs,