Orgasm and Tears

Posted by Beth Darling on Sep 15th 2023

Orgasm and Tears

Hi Beth,

So, I’ve got something kinda weird happening. For the past few months, for no reason, I've started crying when I orgasm. It’s so weird and freaks me and my boyfriend out. I'm embarrassed and confused because it's totally new for me. 

Is this something that happens to other people too? Do you know what might be causing it, and is there something I can do about it? I really hope this isn’t as strange as it sounds. Please tell me you’ve heard of others with this problem before!

Thank you for your help.

Misty H.

Dear Misty,

I want you to know that what you're experiencing is entirely normal, and you're not alone. Orgasms are powerful, evoking strong sensations and emotions.

You may find comfort in knowing that crying during or after an orgasm even has a scientific name: postcoital dysphoria (PCD). This phenomenon might include tears, feelings of sadness, or irritability after consensual sex, and it's not necessarily tied to orgasm. It can happen to anyone, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. In fact, a significant percentage of both men and women have experienced PCD at least once.

These tears can vary in origin. They might express joy from the love you feel for your partner or be a physical reaction to an overwhelming experience. Sometimes it's a biological response to potent stimuli or a mix of emotions like happiness, relief, or melancholy.

This reaction might stop as suddenly as it started, but if it troubles you, consider exploring your feelings more deeply. Reflect on your relationship, your life's stresses, or any underlying emotions like anxiety or confusion that might surface during these intense moments. Understanding the root cause could shed light on your tears.

While taking stock of your emotions, remember it's natural to cry from intense pleasure or emotional connection. Embracing this unique response is part of your individuality. However, if this issue causes distress, don't hesitate to seek professional help.

Above all, I think this unexpected reaction is another reminder that intimacy, love and pleasure are deeply personal, often taking us on a journey filled with unexpected twists and turns. It's all part of the beautiful complexity of being human.

Wishing you pleasure and self-compassion,