He's Not Circumcised!

Posted by Beth Darling on Jun 18th 2024

He's Not Circumcised!

Dear Beth,

I've just started going out with a new man and he isn't circumcised. I've never been with someone who isn't and it’s freaking me out a little. Is it really different?



Dear Laura,

I’m so glad you reached out! This is a great question and I’m glad to address it. The good news is, there isn’t a significant difference in how you approach sexy fun with a circumcised versus an uncircumcised partner. I think it’s really just a different aesthetic when a man’s not aroused.

But let’s start with the basic anatomy distinction. An uncircumcised penis retains the foreskin which covers the head (glans) of a non-erect penis. (Think turtleneck.) When the penis gets hard, the shaft expands, effectively pulling the foreskin back and exposing the head. A circumcised penis has had the foreskin surgically removed, which means the head is uncovered regardless of whether the penis is erect or flaccid. (Think mushroom cap.) In terms of his pleasure, the foreskin is a natural, sensitive part of the male anatomy and can provide additional sensation for him, so it might be fun for you to explore this new “geography." When you do, keep in mind that the foreskin can be quite sensitive. I suggest you start with gentle touches and gradually increase intensity as you learn what’s pleasurable to him.

As for any concerns about hygiene, there’s every reason to expect that a man who keeps himself and his underwear clean generally, will keep his penis clean, whether circumcised or not. I mean, the only difference is whether or not one has a foreskin to retract when washing. It’s no different than the fact that some women have to lift their boobs to wash underneath them, and some don’t.

I hope this helps ease your mind, and I’m here if you have any more questions or just want to share how things are going. Wishing you all the best in your new relationship!

Hugs and love,