Wake Up Potion

Posted by Beth Darling on Dec 1st 2022

Dear Beth,

I’m a mom of two kids and have kind of lost my libido. It also takes me a lot longer to orgasm. A lot of times I don’t orgasm at all, which never used to happen. My husband wants me to try a female arousal gel. I can’t believe it would really do anything. Do you know anything about them? Do you recommend them?


So glad you asked, Patty!

I’m like you and am always skeptical about “magic potions." This being said, there are some great clitoral arousal products on the market these days. The key is to recognize what they can do and what they can’t. They won’t cure your exhaustion, stress and frustration. None of them will make you love your body or your husband more. On the other hand, it can do is create physical arousal even when you have a hard time relaxing mentally.

A good arousal product quickly “wakes up” your clitoris by increasing the blood flow, which stimulates the nerves and creates a sense of arousal. In short, it creates the same physical process that happens when your brain starts thinking about sexy stuff. It’s like jump starting a car, lol! Within minutes, you might begin experiencing throbbing, or tingly sensations that will draw your focus away from other matters and demand attention.

A high quality product can significantly enhance arousal and increase the likelihood and intensity of your orgasm. Have you ever tried a lip plumping product from the makeup counter? Clitoral arousal products are very similar. Which means that some people will find them incredibly effective, some will find them too intense, and others will have very little response to them. Unfortunately, the only way to know is to try them.

I strongly recommend that you use only a tiny bit the first time in case you are someone who is sensitive. Clitoral arousal products come in a variety of options: gels, lotions, creams, oils. I suggest you let the team at one of Sara’s Secret shops help you choose a reputable brand that properly tests their products and contains only a few ingredients, rather than those with lots of added chemical fillers. Sometimes one brand works better for someone than another, so don’t give up if the first one you try doesn’t give you desired results.

Note that menthol is often used to provide a cooling sensation, peppermint for warming. Also, not all arousal products are suitable for oral sex so choose carefully. I hope this inspires you to go for it! I’m excited for your pleasure! 

Happy hugs!