Ask Beth: Is the G-Spot Real?

Posted by Beth Darling on Oct 1st 2021

Dear Beth Darling,

Does the G-spot really exist or is it another urban myth? Does every woman have one? If so, where is it and how do I find mine? Because I’m a 33 yr/old woman and don’t understand how I’ve never felt mine before if it’s so cool.

Gina T.

Hi Gina,

It’s no wonder you’re confused- even the “experts” are still arguing about this lovely little, very discreet, pleasure spot. But yes, the G-spot is real, even though it’s not an independent pleasure source as Dr. Grafenberg thought it was.

In fact, the G-spot is actually part of the clitoral network. What this means is that the G-spot is really just a way to stimulate the internal part of the clitoris. As to whether you have a G-spot or not, the answer is that if you have a “typical” female reproductive system, you’ll have a G-spot.

Now, here’s the practical G-spot info you should know:

- It’s a bean-shaped area of spongy erectile tissue surrounding the urethra.

- During sexual arousal, the erectile tissue in your G-spot can swell so much that the bean becomes the size of a walnut.

- If you’ve searched for your G-spot when you were not sexually aroused, you might not have noticed it because it’s small, softer and less responsive when not engorged.

- When a G-spot is aroused, it is likely to “stand out more”, feel a bit bumpy or rougher to your finger than the rest of the vaginal wall.

- Even when aroused, some G-spots are more sensitive to stimulation than others, just like nipples.

- Because of the proximity to the urethra and bladder, G-spot stimulation may cause an urge to urinate, even if the bladder is empty.

- G-spot stimulation can be a unique, possibly intense, sensation. Don’t be surprised if it takes time and practice for you to learn to appreciate it as pleasurable. (Personally, I had to repeat the mantra “this is just intense sensation not pain” over and over to allow myself to sink into the feelings rather than run away from them, lol.)

With all that in mind, here’s how to find your G-spot:

- Pee first so your bladder is empty and you’ll know any urge to urinate is actually your G-spot responding.

- Lay on your back when you are highly turned on.

- Insert your index and middle fingers into your vagina as far as is comfortable.

- Keeping your fingers firmly pressed to the roof of your vagina (towards your belly button), use a “come hither” motion to slowly feel along the upper vaginal wall as you bring your fingers back to your palm.

- When you notice an area with a different texture, or that responds to touch differently, that’s probably your G-spot. (FYI, it’s usually only 2-3” in, not back by the cervix.)

- Once you find your G-spot, it’s likely to receive great pleasure from firm, rhythmic, "come hither" motions.

Note, if you are distracted worrying that you might actually have to pee even though your bladder is empty, recline on towels or a waterproof blanket.

Now, go forth and explore! I hope you’ll have a blast learning your body and experimenting to see what pleasure you discover. Happy journey to you!

With giggles and grins,