Hi Beth,
I hope this is appropriate subject matter but didn't know who else to ask. Up until a year ago, I was in a long term monogamous relationship, and after being celibate since then, I recently had a one night stand with an acquaintance. Our "protection" failed so I got her Plan B, but now I'm kinda freaking out about STDs.
I know it can take several more weeks before all the tests will be really accurate, so I was hoping you could help me figure out a "polite" way to ask her if she's "clean"? I don't want to insult her, but really would like some input from her to help me calm down until I get tested. Thanks for any advice.
Dan S.
Dear Dan,
Yes! Anything related to love, sex and relationships is appropriate subject matter here. :-)
I feel for ya, my friend. I think most of us have had “Ooops!” and they are usually not fun. So I actually appreciate the chance to address this topic for all our sakes.
I tend to take a pretty direct approach, especially when we’re feeling awkward no matter what. So I’d suggest you say something along the lines of:
(If you’ve been tested before) “Hey, since we had that mishap I thought it only right to let you know that my last testing was ____, the results were ____, and I plan to get tested again on ________ and of course will let you know the results asap. What about you?”
- Or -
(If you haven't been tested for whatever reason) "“Hey, since we had that mishap I thought it only right to let you know that it's been a while since I've been tested but I'm planning to go on ____ and of course will let you know the results asap. How about you?")
I hope this helps and that all turns out well for you, Dan. I'll be wishing you good health and happiness moving forward.
Cheers to staying safe while being sexy,
xoxo,
Beth